the way i feel
by Grip of Chaosurukai
Summary: harry is still sufering because of sirius death. can his friends help him? can ginny hhelp him? HG HR
1. rainy day

The way I feel:  
  
Chapter one: Rainy day:  
  
It was a rainy day at number 4 privet drive, a raven haired boy was sitting at a window his face in his hands, crying, he had cried almost all days since he came back, it had only been a week since his godfather, the nearest thing to family he ever had, had disappeared trough some kind of arch in the ministry of magic.  
  
'Why had it to be him?? Why have i been so stupid to think I could rescue him?? Its all my fault..' He could almost her the voices of his friends-its not your fault Harry, don't even think that- it was exactly this what they had written in the letters that they had sent to him. He looked around in the room, it was to dark to se specific things, but he could make out all of his stuff lying around the floor, when he hadn't been crying he had been angry at the world and let it fell his room. He had gotten some injuries from falling down books or paper cuts.  
  
'This is it the happy live of Harry potter, the boy who lived.' he thought about what his live had been like, first he lost his parents then he had to fight his greatest enemy who killed one of his school members and.. His godfather. 'Sirius. what have I done!!!' he took up a book and threw it against a wall. He was raging and crying, when he heard a knock on his window. "Hi hedwig. How've you been girl??" hedwig was the only 'person' Harry was happy to see in this damned house, and she was his only friend in here.  
  
He hastily untied the letter from her foot and began to read it.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
I know that live isn't easy for you right now, I cant tell you I know how you fell, cause I don't, but I fell really sorry for you, I wont say that you should feel good, but please don't think its your fault, It isn't its his fault you know who I mean. Please don't depress yourself more than you already are.  
  
Yours Ginny  
  
'Wow I hadn't thought she would actually write to me, and she didn't even say she knows how I feel like Ron or 'mione did. I think I should write back..' with that he sat down and began to write.  
  
~*~*~*~*~ The borrow: Ginny was sitting in the living room reading a book she had seen in London when she had been there with her family, Ron was sitting opposite her writing a letter to hermione, 'I wonder what he is writing to her' Ron suddenly looked up and glared at her, she couldn't hide her grin, "so what are you writing?? A love letter??" said Ginny while giggling "no" Ron said blushing "non of your business"  
  
Ginny was giggling when hedwig flew in and sat down on her head. "Hi girl. How've you been??" hedwig nodded as if to say that she's been good. She untied the letter and saw Ron looking puzzled at her. "What??" she said to Ron. "Whys Harry writing to you??" Ginny's eyes darkened and she said" well you are not the only person who wrote to him, and Harry isn't only talking to you!!" with that she ran up to her room. "Girls.." Ron muttered under his breath.  
  
She began to read the letter when she had lain down on her bed.  
  
Dear Ginny,  
  
Thanks for your letter; you are the first person who doesn't think that he/she knows what I feel like. I can't stop blaming me for his death, because it is. If I hadn't trusted the dream than he would still be alive, anyways thanks for trying to cheer me up but I don't think it will work, Ron and hermione have already tried, by the way tell Ron don't to write the same thing in all his letters, It is my fault, and I don't want everybody to try to convince me it wasn't, and I wont be happy when only a little time before my godfather died. Don't take this to emotional I am only fed up with everything right now. I have to end now, I am starting to cry again and I don't want to wash away the ink with tears. Yours Harry*the Harry is a washed away with tears*  
  
'Oh no. Harry.' Ginny sat in her room and began to cry she didn't want Harry to feel such bad. Ron came in her room" Ginny.." he sat down beside her and pulled her into a brotherly hug. "What is it what has happened??" Ginny only pointed in the direction of the letter, and Ron began to read. When he finished he jumped up and said" I have to write to hermione we have to do something.anything."  
  
A/N: well the beginning of my second story, I couldn't think of anything to ad to my first on so I just began this one and if you like t just review I would be happy for anything, comments critics, if you got any good ideas for the story feel free to write them to my email or just add them to your review!! -Grip of chaos 


	2. i can't escape

Chapter 2: I can't escape  
  
Harry sat in his room crying.again. He couldn't stop, he missed Sirius really much. He thought about all happy moments he had had with Sirius, it wasn't fair, why did every time he gets a family something bad happen to them?? He ran his fingers trough his hair, he didn't even try to stop crying he knew he couldn't, he had tried it often, but he just couldn't do it. He can't stop, even if tried not to think about anything that could lead to thinking about Sirius, something would bring him there.. He took up his transfigurations book and started to work on the essay professor McGonagall had given them over holiday. For some time e would think about something else, he read the theme that McGonagal had given them. "NO.NO. why had it to be this??" when Harry read the theme of the essay he became a shock, the essay he had to write was about animagi. "Not even in schoolwork I can escape." he threw the book in a corner and went to his bed, where he tried to sleep. It has only been 13 o'clock but he couldn't think of anything else he would like to do.  
  
Harry woke up when he heard a sound from his window, He stood up and opened it and was nearly knocked out from pig flying in. "Hey calm down, pig" He grabbed the tinny owl and untied the letter, it was from Ginny.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
I won't try to tell you that's not your fault again, well not jet. Sit down please. (Yeah sit down!!) -Harry did, as he was told- We ('mione Ron and myself) will come to your house tomorrow and will take you to London, Don't try to protest we are going to come anyway; there will be some Aurors around everywhere we go. Be ready by 10 o'clock.  
  
Yours Ginny  
  
Harry sighted slightly; he liked to be with his friends but now?? He didn't think it was a good idea. But he would go anyway, perhaps he could forget about last year door some time when he is with them. He went back to his bed after offering some owl threats and some water to pig, who was now sleeping in Hedwigs cage. He fell asleep soon after he had lain down, but it shouldn't be a good sleep.  
  
Harry was rolling around in his bed, 'No please, leave them, its me you want. ' He whispered under his breath. He was dreaming, in his dream he was in a dark room with Voldemort and he could hear the screams of his friends, Voldemort was laughing, he tried top turn and help his friends but he couldnt move. "Let them got. LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO!!!!!!!!!!" "Harry!! Harry wake up!!!" Ron was shaking Harry's shoulder. Harry jumped up in bed, he was sweating all over, he saw crying Ginny in Hermiones arm standing in the door. "Harry your alright?" Ron had a worried look on his face. "Yeah its ok. Just a bad dream." Harry said while running his fingers trough his hair. "Just a dream?? Harry when its you that's not 'just a dream'. We should tell the Aurors" Ron stood up but Harry held him back," No Ron its ok, believe me it was just a bad dream." "Ok mate, you would tell me if something isn't right??" Ron looked at Harry full of concern. "Yeah I would, now I have to dress" Harry stood up and Ron brought the girls out of the room. 'Really good, I scared Ginny half to death and Ron is feeling like he has to protect me, real good.' Harry thought while putting on a jean and a t- shirt. ----Outside the room---- "That's not good." Ron looked at the ceiling thinking about something. "But Harry said it's alright!" Ginny said her voice shaking slightly. "He always does.. he always does." Hermione said while pacing up and down the corridor. "But." Ginny wanted to say something but she was cut of when Harry opened the door and stepped out. "Are you ready??" Harry said with a fake cheerish voice and a fake smile. "Yeah lets go!" Ginny said happily and dragged Hermione behind her.  
  
A/N: it's a short chapter but there will be more soon. I wanted to greet a friend of mine, her name is Julia Kogler*waving to her*(I know this isn't normal but I am not normal*grin*) @Crazy-manga-girl: thanks for your friendly review!^-^ Please please please review!!! 


End file.
